Mental Illness

This week I want to express my thoughts about those with mental illness. I've spent almost 17 years treating those with mental health issues. I am always struck by how alone they feel. I wrote both poems in first person. I know I can never understand how it must be for them, but I want to convey that I am trying.

This first poem is about schizophrenia.

Laughing Into My Fingers

i hope someone visits me.
i should die -
give harmony to the hum
that sets me apart.
give i-teeth for a night’s sleep
without bad thoughts.

mysterious death-songs haunt my
breakfast medications.
by noon, my laughter
robs me of my dignity.

fearing to touch my television
or any other friend-
a voice tells me i am bad
and am lonely because of it.

i love my family
(even though they are killing me)

i’mfine noproblemhere canismokenow?
talk the talk walk the walk
i kiss the mirror with rotten teeth
trembling lips.

laughing into my fingers
i am unsure of my lucid thoughts.
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This one is about Alzheimer's Dementia. I have several good friends who have relatives with this disease.

In Earshot of the Madness

you wag your tail and lift my hand with your soft brown nose and i can remember who you are and laugh because i remember and i love you
did i feed you today? i don’t know and i can’t remember
you look the same.
the ocean inside my head hurts me
its voice makes me sway
i hear my voice and i laugh at it
it is so far away
my life is so clear right now and funny how it seems so important
the details the little details that i had forgotten.
i’m laughing and i know i must look a sight.
feel the drool on my chin and wait for help.
i wet myself. dear jesus ...someone will come and help me.
my dog where is he? did i feed him? he licked my hand i’m sure of it.
i don’t hear you anymore
oceantime you understand drifting in earshot of the madness
screaming in soft, silent darkness.
he would lay his head in my hands you see
i’m sorry i just can’t keep a hold of my mind anymore.
no. no i’m not hungry so leave me alone.
noone knows me anymore don’t touch me
yes i know i smell of old piss and sweat just let me die.
don’t tell me he’s gone i loved him.
he was just a puppy
sad eyes of hazel
and a tail that could make me smile
just from watching it.
i should get up and feed him, its time y’know.


This poem is dedicated to those stricken with Alzheimer’s Dementia. Of all the madness that plagues our world, yours is the first forgiven.
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Please let me know your thoughts.

b

More Love Poetry

Thought I'd do one more week of love poetry, then on to more serious stuff. Hope you like what you read.

Finding a Similar Dream

You are my dream.
You are my fantasy.
Realizing this I fear to wake.And so,
Am content
(More than I can explain with my soul)
To sleep in your love.
Live my days in our reality,
While the world looks on
To more important matters.
Such as finding a similar dream.
____________________________
The Music of Your Laughter

Before I met you
I wanted so much to love completely
That I could but watch others fall in love.
I was so scared to give myself
That I let life hold me like an empty, bitter wind
On a silent day.
Then my dreams carried me to you.
You laughed my fears into the sunshine.
What can I whisper but “I love you”,
When I listen to your breath
Soft and gentle in the darkness?
How can I feel anything but joy,
Rich and deep when I touch you as I wake?
I’m thankful,
And a little amazed
That my world could be so beautiful
When filled with the music of your laughter.
______________________________
Valentine's Day Thought

Gently (so soft, warm) we kiss
Knowing each other’s embrace.
Asking for each other’s love.
Trembling, I give.
Fearing it won’t be enough
To hold your smile forever to my soul.
Wrapped in your love
I’m safe from myself.
In your arms I’m free to wonder rainbows
Or race the stars.
In your arms I know that dreams can come true.
I’ll never find words to express the feelings
You leave in me.
No cage of thought could contain that much joy.
Know that I love you,
And hold me, forever,
In your smile.
______________________________

Take care and love well.
orn