Mental Illness

This week I want to express my thoughts about those with mental illness. I've spent almost 17 years treating those with mental health issues. I am always struck by how alone they feel. I wrote both poems in first person. I know I can never understand how it must be for them, but I want to convey that I am trying.

This first poem is about schizophrenia.

Laughing Into My Fingers

i hope someone visits me.
i should die -
give harmony to the hum
that sets me apart.
give i-teeth for a night’s sleep
without bad thoughts.

mysterious death-songs haunt my
breakfast medications.
by noon, my laughter
robs me of my dignity.

fearing to touch my television
or any other friend-
a voice tells me i am bad
and am lonely because of it.

i love my family
(even though they are killing me)

i’mfine noproblemhere canismokenow?
talk the talk walk the walk
i kiss the mirror with rotten teeth
trembling lips.

laughing into my fingers
i am unsure of my lucid thoughts.
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This one is about Alzheimer's Dementia. I have several good friends who have relatives with this disease.

In Earshot of the Madness

you wag your tail and lift my hand with your soft brown nose and i can remember who you are and laugh because i remember and i love you
did i feed you today? i don’t know and i can’t remember
you look the same.
the ocean inside my head hurts me
its voice makes me sway
i hear my voice and i laugh at it
it is so far away
my life is so clear right now and funny how it seems so important
the details the little details that i had forgotten.
i’m laughing and i know i must look a sight.
feel the drool on my chin and wait for help.
i wet myself. dear jesus ...someone will come and help me.
my dog where is he? did i feed him? he licked my hand i’m sure of it.
i don’t hear you anymore
oceantime you understand drifting in earshot of the madness
screaming in soft, silent darkness.
he would lay his head in my hands you see
i’m sorry i just can’t keep a hold of my mind anymore.
no. no i’m not hungry so leave me alone.
noone knows me anymore don’t touch me
yes i know i smell of old piss and sweat just let me die.
don’t tell me he’s gone i loved him.
he was just a puppy
sad eyes of hazel
and a tail that could make me smile
just from watching it.
i should get up and feed him, its time y’know.


This poem is dedicated to those stricken with Alzheimer’s Dementia. Of all the madness that plagues our world, yours is the first forgiven.
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Please let me know your thoughts.

b