Newtown

After almost six months, I am putting out my thoughts about the shootings in Newtown, CT. Let me know your thoughts.

A Perfect Flake of Snow

Stifled in darkness so god doesn’t notice

The (‘hallmark moment’) sobs,

Will angels have any

Tears left for us

When existence slips back into

God’s pocket with the other lint universal?

When angels can’t stop their grief

We call it climate change.

Each tear a perfect flake of snow

Falling.

So many from heaven, drifting deep in sadness,

Recalling the last moment of laughter

From the littlest snow angels humanity can still cherish.

Perfect, tiny impressions of wings on

Fresh blankets of frosty, diamond white.

Looking back and beyond our chaos,

With ancient cheeks forever moist,

Weeping eternally for our lack

Of understanding of how it all works.

(To love another more).

Their hearts will break until time is silent.

Embracing forever (our lost) innocence

Of Newtown.

______________________________________________________________________ 

Brian O. Butler

8 June 2013

Challenge Poem

Hey Everyone...thanks for hanging in there with me. I am trying hard to get back to writing more...I am hoping that with the holidays upon us, I will get more time and inspiration. Today's poem is a Challenge poem from a dear friend of mine from Georgia. Dee G. wanted something inspiring. I hope this passes muster, Dee!   Let me know what you (all of you) think.



Of What Can Be…



He should have been blind.
20/20 hindsight stole away his vision
For a better life.
Doubting all he heard (about love)
He played it dumb & deaf.
Better off (by far) to stay unconnected to the world.
He knew only that:

despair is empty/cold/dark.
when it defines our lives it frightens us less
(as we starve slowly and burn to a cinder).

He was burned raw and brittle by hope.
Saw it all around him and how others were warmed by its light.
He languished in the smoke-choked shadows of loss and hurt.
Running for his life when the beams of dawn touched his skin,
He heard someone say (from somewhere near himself)
That there was no hope to be found anywhere out in the world.

At last someone understood his life of ashes!
Stumbling to a stop, he listened so hard he didn’t notice
That sunrise had kissed away his fears and was waiting on his hug.
Someone continued:

Hope is made from within, not found from without.
The only place you can “take hope” is from your heart.
It cannot be taken from the tables of others
Like leftover scraps of a feast.
Place your hope on the table of life,
Feast with others in the sunshine
And unwrap the world’s tomorrows in warmth.
Then you will not be soul-hungry (or life-burnt).
Now he understands that:

Hope is the fire of every star in the night.
When it defines our lives it fills us with the courage
Of what can be..

______________________________________________________

orn b.
24 Nov 2012

May you feast every day on the best of tomorrows. Let me know your thoughts.

Has been a long time since I published anything. Sorry about that. Will try and do better. So....today is a poem I wrote in April this year. It is for a friend of mine that went through a tough time and came out the other side better and happier. He never had a tatoo before, and when he got his first one, it was of a Phoenix. It was HUGE, and covered his entire back! I thought about the fact that he was a fireman at one point in his life, and how the metaphor of fire and rebirth plays in his life. He gave permission to print this poem, and for that I am grateful. I also have a challenge poem I am working on from a friend and reader in Atlanta, GA (thanks Dee!)

Phoenix Rising

Myth would have it born anew

From it’s own ashes.

Flying to the sun,

Awoken from death

To live again.

Brighter than the fire of life.

Legend would have it become

Like man.

Passion ablaze,

Consuming all it touches with

It’s first breath of sky and wing.

But I know it is a fireman.

Smoldering from the burns

Of his older, other life.

Glowing with embers of a slowly

Realized future.

Bursting from his burdens like

The blazing symbol on his back,

He rises to the challenge of

The dawn on his horizon.

Becomes like his dreams,

Immortal.

______________________________

Let me know your thoughts...

orn b.

From the Psychologist's Office

Hi Everyone! This poem was inspired by accounts of my soldiers telling different stories the same way. So often, soldiers feel guilty about surviving combat when a friend did not. The guilt haunts them in their sleep. This is a dark poem, but I want to let others know that for so many, the war doesn't end when our men and women leave the combat zone.

Survivor’s Guilt

In a resurrection
As sweet as the smell
Of pine trees on the
Hillsides of my innocence,
I laugh with you
While all about us darkens.

We start running to
Bunkers that shrink and fade
With each slow-motion stride I can muster.
Concussions (purple-white) rack my sleep.
I flatten
Clutching my sweat-soaked mattress
Shielding myself from murder.
Moaning awake (screams from my dreams)
You die again.
A victim of jagged shrapnel
(My survivor’s guilt).

Awake and dead again
I edge from room to room
In a security sweep.
Check my locks for violation.
Scanning my lawn for
Shadow craters in moonlight.
I stay awake in silence
Wondering when both of us will stay dead.
______________________________

Let me know your thoughts.
b

Well...here we are again. Sorry I've been away.

Thanks to everyone who have checked for signs of life on this blog. A lot of personal stuff kept me occupied. But now that I have my life back in order, I can write again. The next three poems are a trilogy, although they did not start out that way. Rick Weinard challenged me to write a poem and it took three poems to finally get it right. Thanks for the push, Rick. Two of the poems, Quota and The Uncertainty of the Moment I have posted before. But I want to present all three at once for continuity. I know....the subject matter is very serious/dark, so don't be suprised.

Capture The Flag

yellow neckerchief/cubscout blue.
parents smile
clueless
as he chases friendships (clueless) with
bangbangyourdead-count to twenty
in a picnic park at the edge of town.
he swallows ice cream and body counts from Viet Nam
numbers stare stark from
the family TV.

mainstreet marching/cadence singing
weblo medals sparkle sunshine and innocence.
crowds cheer/laugh in celebration.
their little soldiers place tiny flags on
graves in the cold spring sun.

flags/etched stones mean little to him.
yelling jokes to his friends
hearing their laughter shatter the solemn
silence that surround him.

grey clouds darken to the summer’s west

midnight games in boy scout green.
low crawling at the edge of a black
and shapeless forest.
he charges with deadly intent to capture the flag.
proves he is the warrior of his troop.
the best the night has to offer/receive.

honor guard duty
holding flags upright
against cold/bitter november winds.
feeling pride that adults appreciate his serious face
his measured strides and salute.

recruiters polish his ego (like hollywood).
the chopper lands beside his school.
picked to carry his best friend on a combat litter
in make-believe horror
heroic dreams spin about him
(like dead/dried leaves)
caught up in the spinning, rotor blades.

telling unsure parents of his patriotic intent
he sees only the flag,
is captured by its uniform glory,
then walks into the snow of his brief life
until his tracks disappear in darkness.
____________________________

Quota

With a wall to wall chest of medals,
A handshake for the parent,
Free pens and caps all around,
Funding for college (obscures the truth)
At the corner’s of the Recruiter’s hard lips as
the SAW bucks and smokes in his hands
(he remembers it all)
the worried look on the mother’s face
she signs the parental release for her 17yr old
“Man, you are gonna look good in uniform
Playing football is gonna help you a lot!
You are honoring your mother today
Raise your right hand, state your name and”
You can’t hear IEDs screaming towards you.
Angry metal and flame floating out with
No escape/no Haji to fight as diesel blackened
Headaches spiderweb your thoughts like the
Bloodied windshield from the RPG
He pulls the limp, legless SGT from the fire
“You goin’ infantry?
Huge bonus if you re-enlist
Hell, I’ll swear you back in, myself.
No matter what, you will always be a soldier
You can always be proud of that”.
Then the woman and her starry-eyed son
Step out into the strip mall’s snowy parking lot.
He meant every word he said to the high school football star.
But couldn’t tell him (or anyone else) how
He fought to go back down range
Would go in place of any recruit he enlisted.
He needs to go back so he can (somehow...magically) stop
A convoy being hit and keep
His last recruit from slumping over the wheel and
Going away with the sun into endless night.
Glancing from his recruiting awards
To the piles of paperwork on his desk
He hesitates
Haunted from meeting
His quota.

_____________________________

The Uncertainty of the Moment

before death floated
in and out of him
his last images
were of biting flies
dancing in his fading breath.

the world raced forward without waiting
it was lonely to lie in sticky, red sand as
smoke, burning fuel and
distant shouts covered him
head to toe.

Fitner was blood and pieces of flesh the size of
marbles in corners impossible to reach.
the world went dark red with
flame as its horizon when the vehicle shattered
from remote detonation in a road
cleared 12 hours ago..

Fitner was so fuckin’ funny when he
imitated the platoon sergeant.
if it weren’t for Fitner
convoys would be hell on earth

he was so tired of this shit.
tired of mountains with
glowing rusty snow
painted by an ignorant sun.
he cleaned his weapon again.
thirty days and a wake-up
left of this godforsaken tour.

missions blurred his memory,
robbed him of what to feel.
his life was becoming vague and sleepless.
when his friends died or were evac’d
he was able to recall with nightmares what happened.
otherwise he counted the days.

he pulled himself into the transport parked on a boiling tarmac.
fantasies of valor and medals would not sustain him.
he no longer felt like a Hollywood hero
stumbling off the plane.
foreign smells and anger undid
his sense of purpose.
ground crews avoided eye contact.
the uncertainty of the moment surprised him.

wishing he had some hot
chick to kiss goodbye.
it would look so cool.
family hugs were embarrassing with
the unit so near
forming in rows like blunt grey-green teeth
on the basketball court.

like in the movies pop was proud, teary-eyed.
mom was silent and held on for dear life.
he just wanted to get going already
so he pushed her gently away.

it would be awesome.
he would do this for real.
he was so good at video games
knew just when to shoot.
usually got to the next level without
dying more than twice.

it couldn’t be that hard to do.

__________________________________


Let me know your thoughts.

b

A Happy Poem (at last... I know!)

I am answering a challenge poem from Laurie J., a high school friend of mine. She liked the poem I posted yesterday, but asked that the next poem be about puppydogs and rainbows. Well, Laurie...I hope this fits the bill. Let me know what you think.

Puppydogs and Rainbows

Rainbows don’t fetch balls or Frisbees
Don’t come when you call
They run from you
Then disappear into dark
Swollen angry clouds.
Rainbows aren’t loyal companions,
Just reminders that it is raining on your day.

Puppydogs aren’t prisms of hope.
They have wet fur smell when coming in from the rain
Tracking mud across the carpet
Chewing anything in reach
Not a pot of gold in sight.
Just poop that needs cleaning up.

Let us dismiss the need for both.
We are not children anymore.
The days of kites and wonder are gone.
(Oh, who am I trying to fool?)

When my dogs lick my chin
(as if nothing else could be as important)
Then no leprechaun’s loot can compare.
The colors of joy and play in their eyes
Flopping ears arcing and dancing
Sniffing every blade of grass
As we walk about after a spring shower
Defines the hope for our tomorrows.

And let me tell you of rainbows.
Showing us that all will be well.
Decorating the storms in our lives
So we won’t be so afraid
Of the thunder in our future.
They come when we don’t call them.
Leave when we can see the sun again.
That, my friends, is loyalty.

Puppydogs and rainbows save the child in us all.

_____________________________________

Take time to hug your pet and dream of rainbow gold.
Take care of each other.

orn b.

Military Poetry

Its been a long time since my last poem. Sorry about that. This weekend marks one year that this blog has been up. The poem below is in response to a challenge that Rick Weinard put to me. Although my last poem was to answer that challenge, Rick let me know that he was not satisfied, and so the challenge remained. Rick wanted me to write a poem depicting the shift from naivete of a new recruit to the understanding of a soldier in combat. Rick, I hope this suffices. Writing this poem was very different for me. I started with the end and ended with the beginning. Also, after I wrote the entire poem, I then addressed each stanza, reversing the order of each sentence (the last sentence went first, and the first sentence went last). I was actually amazed at how different the meaning was by doing so. If you have the time, try reading the poem from end to beginning.

The Uncertainty of the Moment

before death floated
in and out of him
his last images
were of biting flies
dancing in his fading breath.

the world raced forward without waiting
it was lonely to lie in sticky, red sand as
smoke, burning fuel and
distant shouts covered him
head to toe.

Fitner was blood and pieces of flesh the size of
marbles in corners impossible to reach.
the world went dark red with
flame as its horizon when the vehicle shattered
from remote detonation in a road
cleared 12 hours ago.

Fitner was so fuckin’ funny when he
imitated the platoon sergeant.
if it weren’t for Fitner
convoys would be hell on earth

he was so tired of this shit.
tired of mountains with
glowing rusty snow
painted by an ignorant sun.
he cleaned his weapon again.
thirty days and a wake-up
left of this godforsaken tour.

missions blurred his memory,
robbed him of what to feel.
his life was becoming vague and sleepless.
when his friends died or were evac’d
he was able to recall with nightmares what happened.
otherwise he counted the days.

he pulled himself into the transport parked on a boiling tarmac.
fantasies of valor and medals would not sustain him.
he no longer felt like a Hollywood hero
stumbling off the plane.
foreign smells and anger undid
his sense of purpose.
ground crews avoided eye contact.
the uncertainty of the moment surprised him.

wishing he had some hot
chick to kiss goodbye.
it would look so cool.
family hugs were embarrassing with
the unit so near
forming in rows like blunt grey-green teeth
on the basketball court.

like in the movies pop was proud, teary-eyed.
mom was silent and held on for dear life.
he just wanted to get going already
so he pushed her gently away.

it would be awesome.
he would do this for real.
he was so good at video games
knew just when to shoot.
usually got to the next level without
dying more than twice.

it couldn’t be that hard to do.

________________________________

Let me know what your thoughts are about this poem. Have a safe Memorial Day and please honor the fallen soldiers and their families who mourn and miss them. Til next time.

orn b