Relationships and loss

As much as we don't talk about loss of relationships in our lives, loss is a part of the human experience. I want to address this issue carefully. I don't wish to be maudlin, but I want to present two poems about loss. I hope that these poems resonate with you. That you will appreciate the relationships you cherish now, and realize the wisdom you've gained from those lost.

This first poem I wrote for my sister, after her cat died. I think those of us who have spent much of our lives with our pets can relate.

so little a thing


feathersteps follow me room by room
enter as i exit. watch me with a quiet kind of love.
i know you aren’t there. i drift into the kitchen
(it is cold and confusing)

i grieve too much.

i know death and can see him/it/they/her
coming down long lit hallways (where i work).
Pillaging in that drawn out way of his/hers/its/theirs.
Leaving the living dumb in its/theirs/hers/his wake.
It/she/they/he leaves and i am sometimes
too busy to notice.

THE SUFFERING IS OVER!
WE TELL OURSELVES THAT DEATH WAS PERHAPS FOR THE BEST.
THAT PROLONGING THE PAIN (in ourselves)
WOULD BE CRUEL.
And i could never be cruel ...not to the shy,
happy cat that loved butterfly hunts.

I WANTED TO TELL DEATH TO BE GENTLE WITH YOU
THAT YOU WERE SPECIAL
THAT YOU SHOULD BE WITH SUNSHINE AND BUTTERFLIES
THAT HE/SHE/IT/THEY SHOULD GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME UNSHATTERED
(over so little a thing
as the death of a cat).
WANTED TO MAKE YOU UNDERSTAND
THAT IT IS SO HARD FOR ME TO LOSE YOU
THAT DEATH WAS ALL I HAD LEFT TO EASE YOUR PAIN.

I miss you
look for you in lofts of sunshine
and watch butterflies now
with a quiet kind of love.
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This next poem was hard to write. I tried to place myself in a room where loss is front and center. What happens when someone is face to face with the death of one's soul mate? Unable to do anything but witness it. I said that loss is part of the human experience, but must it be so damned devastating to us?

In Rooms Empty of Miracles


Tracked with tear sand
Old trails on such young cheeks.
“Talk to me just once. Pleasegodplease just say my name”.
Just squeeze my hand. Please don’t go.”
So the prayer/chant/beg/curse
Whispered hope continues.
Hold hands but not too tight
Remember the tubes
And the nurse
And the Doctor
And the BEEP..BEEP..BEEP...
BEEEE...

Hate/Love sound of life in balance
Death with foothold.
Hold back the tears as if courage will open
Those beautiful sad eyes of blue
Sorry ...So Sorry.
Beg/Chant/Bargain/Prayer.
“I love you so
We love you so much
Please God, just this once
Please.”

She is led away by silent nurses.
Looks of knowing burn her.
Callused sympathy from the ward
Having seen so many tears with no end in sight.
“Its for the best”, breaks through her numbing grief.
She clutches a sofa of dingy vinyl orange
Losing herself in a world of emptiness and pain.
Trickle streams of love dry slow
In rooms empty of miracles.

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From time to time I will share my thoughts about loss. But not too often. Please give me your thoughts. If you have trouble posting on this blog, try registering as a Follower. If that doesn't help, email me and if you give me permission, I will cut and paste your thoughts into the blog for you.. Thankfor reading.

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